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anendtosanity in cw10mhy1

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The missing pieces tell me that i'm not alright
and the holes somewhere inside burn the words unspoken through my back
and it leaves me crying, thrashing, screaming
hoping you'd see me with the ashes licking my skin

Cleanse me from the inside
rid me of the filth that's eating me alive, soul first

My voice grows hoarse and everyday, i grow more silent
my tears, they start to run dry
my shadow, it grows fainter and fainter everyday

I mouth the words "Save me"
let me swallow you whole

-patricia roy

Comments

hm, this is angst. krinkle was right when she said people are writing sad poetry lately. from my reading, the YOU is something the persona feels would complete her (of course, the persona could always be a boy), and that if the YOU does not agree to become a part of the persona, she will, well, in the crudest sense, die. pretty good way of saying "i can't live without you".

maybe you were aiming for irregularity to show the persona's emotion, but well, there's one line sticking out a lot, and it doesn't look too good on webpage. i like the fact that there was no direct stating of the YOU being a romantic beloved, a family member, or watnot. that leaves the reader to think of whoever he wants for the you. interesting irony with the voice, drying tears are a bit overused in poetry, and the shadow metaphor was nice, too. i liked the last metaphor. very intense.

October 2007

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